Thursday, 21 March 2013

Why you should react.

Its not really a safe world. Especially when you are in a place where eve-teasing has become the most common thing that could happen on road; when people stare at you when you get teased and walk away in peace.Well it is a whole lot of open thinking present in the world.

 Then someone advices not to speak back or respond haughtily to hooting and comments because you don't really know what they could do next. Keeping aside that this 'they' is just another person who has a misplaced version of acceptable behavior, I think there is a reason why you should react. Why you should tell a teaser to stfu.

No one grows just by night into this mentally sick idiot, who thinks passing snide comments or molesting a woman is normal or entertaining.

 So you don't face the highest version of sickness right out. It starts with a teenager on a cycle, along with his friends showing off that he can call out names to a random girl. Now you either smirk at him retort bad, or get embarrassed and try to dust it off. 

You would receive advice from your friends or family to just get out of the place. But have you realized what happens when you do that? The teenager who for the first time has made cat calls to show off in front of his friends has indeed become a showoff as you have not retorted and embarrassed him in front of his friends. 
Had you embarrassed him, every time he has an intention to carry out the same act ever again, he will remember this embarrassment and would not find it amusing anymore. When you do not say anything, you make him a hero (well, the group at least will be impressed by his guts) and so he will be continuing this behavior. Not only this, some shy and not so participating guy might find this inspiring enough to try catcalling because it gives him attention.

Maybe this is the reason why you should react! Not only because you have a right to be, but because you are actually doing more than that. 


If u know the reason.. does it make a difference

You ask why.
Why did this happen to me? Why did I do this? Why do you think I did this?

Then, you get the answers. From friends, family or further on from a shrink may be. But does it really make a difference? Doesn't it matter how you use the reason? Is it just enough if you know why?

Yes there is a reason behind everything, and we spend half of our life doing some thing and the other half finding an explanation to that action. I have seen people find reasons for their behavior; relate it to bad childhood or an influence from a friend.

Personally, If  you take an individual case and dig up their life, may be we could find reasons for why everyone behaves the way they do. When people questioned Michael Jackson's surgeries and alterations, they were attributed to his bad child hood and hence lack of self respect, reflecting in the intention to change himself.
Many characteristics of a person are attributed to parental care, home environment, school life, bully or bullied etc.

What are we actually gaining from these attributions? I think we are finding an explanation to hide behind. (Yes, not reason with the explanation but to hide behind it.) When you know the reason, what do you say?

"I did that only because this happened. Otherwise things would have been very different."

 Well, good morning! The reasoning was provided to avoid self-blame, and avoid guilt may be. It definitely doesn't mean that you can find reasons for your behavior and let it be. It is the next step to change yourself now that you know.

If you are not going to do anything about it,
Then if you know the reason, does it really make a difference?

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

The first post!

The randomness of your thoughts sometimes makes sense. More so when it is post 2am for me. Theorising randomness for now.